Let’s suspend a few ideas. I don’t really ever address the question of evil, so we’re suspending it. And in this, we’re also suspending all the omni’s of the Christian God, and reducing he/she/it to a loving, emotional being that might very well be all the good things we say it is. In the very least, the kind you’d want as a pal.

Oh, also, we’re going to say you’re married to God.

Let’s pretend, in a much more horrifying scenario for you, you’re married to me. When am I happiest? When do I feel I’m getting what I intended out of this marriage?

Is it when you’re worshipping me? I have to say, I hope not. Are you worshipping me because you feel like you have to? Is it because, hey, could be worse. That seems like the kind of respect I’d want – I may not be the best but you could have done worse, so you’re still glad about the whole thing.

OK use your own brain to see where a God might find worship neat, but not the chief aim of being with you.

Back to me. Am I happiest and most satisfied with my marriage when you are doing right by me, and most unhappy when you are doing wrong by me?

Again, I really hope not. It would be pretty obvious I didn’t love you, wouldn’t it. I just love myself, since I’ve made my own power and happiness the central goal of an entire marriage. When you don’t do right by me, I don’t like it. When you do right by me, I do. But that’s a detail. That can’t be a goal.

Go ahead, do the God part now. I’ll wait.

I married you because I want to experience you, and I want to be experienced. I’m under no delusions that you’re somehow trapped in our relationship.

I don’t feel like writing too much tonight. I just want to rule out several popular thoughts about the purpose of God and his love for people. It’s not for his enjoyment alone – because that doesn’t make any sense, it doesn’t work with love.

Marriage is supposed to be a give and take, and it’s supposed to be a lot of ups and downs. It’s easy to blame the other person’s imperfections for all of your misery – even if the other person is perfect. Conversely, it’s my style to take more blame than I ought to, forgetting that other people are competent to interpret my actions without demonizing me. Anyway.